faith

i dont usually talk about stuff like this.
but i will.
i have been meaning to blog this but i would either forget or i just couldn't think of how to put it down in writing.

awhile back i was questioned about my faith.
about me not going to church every sunday.
about me not being religious enough.
well...
i do have faith.
i don't go to church every sunday.
i am not what you would say as "very religious since i don;t go to church all the time."

but who is to define my faith?
who is to define "my religion?"
my definition may not be yours or anyone else's.
i am catholic, born and baptized as such.
just because i dont go to church every sunday does not make me a non-believer or have no faith in god or religious enough to have faith.
i do believe in god, maybe not the way you want me to or how you believe in god.
honestly and not trying to be rude...
oh well, what you think of me in these terms does not matter to me.
what matters to me is what i believe in.
what matters to me is that i do talk to my girls about this.
i tell them to keep their minds and hearts open.
i dont force them, but guide them.
if they want to all out, so be it and i will be supportive and loving.
do i agree with all of catholicism is about or preaches...
no i don't.
there are things in this religion i can not get a grip on or totally believe or have faith in.
i believe in a god and a faith in which there are no restrictions, restrictions which put guilt on you.
i don't believe in something or someone making me feel guilty all the time for something i've done or said that's so small or, even big.
i am not about that.

i respect those who go all out for their religion.
what i don;t respect is when one starts disrespecting me on my faith and how i go about it.
have you heard of this saying?:

"The Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in buildings of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there; lift a stone and you will find me."  quoted by the character in the movie Mario Petrocell.



believe it or not i learned and first heard of this from a movie i watched and still do enjoy..
stigmata, starring patricia arquette.
i truly believe in this saying.
i don't need an actual church to have faith in god.
oh, there are definitely beautiful ones that i have been in.
but that does not mean that i won't ever set foot in one.
what i'm saying is that i can pray by myself in my own home, car or anywhere, watch/listen/read up on joel osteen stuff, look up in the sky and say thank you lord, take walks or go for a run and just be...
and still have faith and believe...
in my own way.

respect that.