Wednesday, May 8, 2013


def. resilient:  the ability to overcome, correct, to become better than

this is the word someone i love and am very close to had recently said to me.
and that person is my sis.
she is one of my besties in life, for life.

this word totally describes me as a parent.
i never ever thought of using that word for myself, actually for both me and my hubby.
why not?
here's the put it in a nutshell...
this is my 1st marriage, my hubby's 2nd.
we both have kids from previous relationships.
and we also have 1 with each other.
so a total = 3 lovingly kiddos.
we are categorized by society, and i'm proud of it...a "blended" family.
i don't want to go all into detail and shit like that because this blog post would end being like a thick book that would seem to go on forever.
all i can say is like all "normal" families, we have our ups & downs, not just with each other but also as far as "co-parenting" is concerned.
co-parenting is not easy even when parents from opposite ends are civil and get along.
it's hard work, emotional too.
it takes its toll.

but this is what also makes us stronger parents.
i never realized this but my sis really hit it on the dot...
me & my hubby as parents in this kind of situation:

  • we are resilient parents
  • we don't take our time with our kids for granted 
  • we make every minute count
  • we actually ask if our kids are happy 
  • we say "i love you" everyday
  • we really focus on them with the time we do have with them
  • we ask them questions not usually asked in a "normal" family (like the other day, i asked maiya, as a mother, what i can do to improve myself? i also told her to completely be honest with me.  her answer with a lot of thought into it, "mom, could you take it easy about cleaning my room?  there are times i feel that it is clean after i did clean it but you just don't see it that way."  she had tears in eyes, she was really hurt.  that answer and especially those tears, i have to say really made me step back and say to myself, "yeah, you're being a bit hard on her about it. take it easy.")
  • we just seem to be able to really realize what's more important when it comes to our kids, our family because of our situation.

i bet you're thinking well there's a lot of families like us who are not "blended" families who do all these things too.
yes there are.
but there are also "normal" families who take these things for granted or don't think about it or make assumptions that their kids are happy without even asking them straight up, "are you happy?"
what about asking your kids what can you do as parents to improve yourselves?
my sis just told me she never thought about asking her kiddos something like that and thought it was a great thing to ask.

my intention with this blog post is not to criticize anyone.
it is not to say we are better than anyone else in this world.
it is not saying all "blended" families are like ours.
it is to just let you know that "blended" families are "normal" families too.
i feel and didn't realize til my sis pointed this out...
we seem to be more aware of things, our time, our situation, where we are... when it comes to our kiddos, our family as a whole.

and that my friend makes us resilient.

and i'm proud of it, the ups...  and even the downs.

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